Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
