Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
