we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
