She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize