You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
