I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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