Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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