Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize