i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
