4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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