It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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