I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
