Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
