I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
