he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
