Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
where are my eyebrows?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
