Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
