Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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