I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i love accidental penises.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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