Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
