My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
