I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
