i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
