It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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