I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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