they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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