Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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