we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
