I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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