How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i think my cat just said my name.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
