I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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