kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
