3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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