She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
