OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
