I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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