Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
