So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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