I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
