If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
