I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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