I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
