I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
