You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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