Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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