I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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