that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
