is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
