Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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