It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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