i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
