what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
