Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I still have a little drunk in my system
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
