Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
