Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
