Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
