She said her name was "party"
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
