Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize