Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
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