Me. At least after what I've been through.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
