she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize