This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
