i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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