tell your sister to shave her snatch
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
this just has baby written all over it
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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